jesicanoel

As of tomorrow at least. I start phase 3 monday morning - which means a 1200 calorie diet of protien, eggs, dairy,nuts, veggies and fruit - no starches or carb like substances (bread) or sugar. YAY! 1200 calories is a walk in the park and having salads with everything but the kitchen sink in them is SO yummy. (I’m doing my happy dance!) I lost a total of 52 lbs, 15 this round - I’m not counting the extra lb I dropped today or if I drop any tomorrow because now that the HCG is working it’s way out of my system those lbs likely won’t stay gone. If this round is anything like the last round of maintenance I did the first week and a half my weight will creep up - and hopefully not go over 2 lbs over my last shot weight (it didn’t last time) - then it will creep back down and even itself out…and if I am really lucky it will do what it did last time and just keep creeping down for a bit bfore it levels out. I have appx 7 more lbs to lose to reach my goal of 160 - last time I dropped about 8 on my own.
So we will see. Whatever happens, I’m good - I’m glad to be right here, I feel good, I’m excited for more changes to be made and new habits I’m going to start - I’m excited to tone up my body now that I’ve lost so much. I’m not at the end of the journey of course, cause I’ve come to the understanding that my journey will never fully end. I will always have to be a conscious eater, I will always have to ask myself the hard questions, like what am I doing to make my body stronger and healthier? what am I doing that counters that? and what else can I be doing to ensure my vitality and longevity? I am confident that it won’t always have to be on the forefront of my mind every day, because I am building habits that will soon become natural to me and won’t need as much thought, but I will always have to take stock here and there lest I lose my bearings and get lost in the 200’s again.
Although being a responsible human - taking the reins and control and accepting that I am the one running the show here is and has been hard - it’s kinda been freeing too…I feel so grown up.
Anyways, another milestone hit - time to be ME - no more hiding from who I am or who I want to be- no more guilt for being an individual and not a stereotype or vice versa, no more guilt for surviving, no guilt for loving, no guilt for living, no more blaming everything and everyone but myself - I’ve turned a new page - I’m older and wiser now, and bit thinner too - it’s time to start living life MY way.